Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
In America we eat man semen.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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