is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize