i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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