I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
