My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
