Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
