She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
