Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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