I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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