im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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