i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
