take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
