They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
