i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sext me about skeletons
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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