We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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