So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
