I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
