i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
