you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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