So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
