almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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