I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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