Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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