I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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