I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
