dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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