what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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