dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
