No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
