Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
