I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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