goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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