Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize