so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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