a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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