I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
