The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
