singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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