What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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