she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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