Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
