do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
