I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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