can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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