Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
