I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
