so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
