i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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