You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
