are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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