West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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