I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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