Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
