U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
