guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
