she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
