Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Too much gin, very little bucket
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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