no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
