dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Acid is not a monday night drug
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
