No awkward lesbian experiences without me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
