He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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