Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize