$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
