quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
