physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
