I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
