I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
