Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
