I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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