East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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