I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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