so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you win again, gameday.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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