Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I want to be your penis for a week.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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