i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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