people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We have started to decorate penises.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
